Healing from bitterness and holding grudges.

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Recently I attended a conference where several healing ministers spoke. One was Pastor Rodney Hogue. His church is in northern California and last September Rodney was a member of the team I traveled to Brazil with. He’s written a little, but powerful book on Forgiveness.

He addresses the question, what do you do when you have a stronghold of bitterness, that is, a pattern of holding grudges against people for long periods of time? We all know people who do this. Maybe it’s a family member, or your boss, or even your best friend. compassion empowersIt seems that no matter what is said or done to right the wrong, they continue to hang on to the offense, like an attack dog gripping a juicy hunk of meat. Just try and pull it away!

Of course, the first step is to repent for agreeing with the sin of bitterness. To renounce the sin, cast it out and receive God’s forgiveness. But for many, the pathways formed in the brain by a long-time habit make it almost impossible to change the pattern of grudge holding. So what is a person to do?

Pastor Rodney says whenever you tear down an ungodly stronghold like bitterness, you must rebuild with a Godly stronghold, rebuilding in the opposite spirit. So what is the opposite spirit to bitterness?

Compassion. Compassion requires you to feel God’s love for them and see them through His eyes rather than ours. It means to see their value and significance from God’s point of view. This requires time and attention to not only dismantle unwanted thought patterns, but to renew the mind to build godly thought patterns.

This is a principle for living in freedom and is necessary in order to renew the mind and change the heart.

There are things we can do to starve bitterness and feed compassion.

1. Acknowledge God’s will to forgive. The burden to forgive is on the offended. Mt 5:38-41.

2. Meditate on God’s forgiveness for you. Find a scripture that speaks to your heart about forgiveness and take time to ponder it, to let it sink in deep into your heart.

3. Receive the grace to demonstrate mercy just as God has done for you. Colossians 3:13.

4. Determine to forgive BEFORE an offense occurs. There are opportunities all day long to take offense. A misspoken word, a tone of voice, a joke that pierced, but it is possible to declare that we will not be offended, and let it go. This is the one I am working on. Sometimes I have to say over and over, “I will not take offense. I will not take offense.” Slowly, bit by bit, I am finding victory. You can, too.







2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Healing from bitterness and holding grudges.”

  1. σκοτώσειon 19 May 2015 at 8:10 pm

    Appreciating the hard work you put into your website and in depth information you offer.
    It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a
    while that isn’t the same old rehashed material.
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  2. Marthaon 21 May 2015 at 6:07 pm

    Thanks for the encouraging words. You might enjoy my novels, which deal with our thoughts and issues of bitterness, rejection and soon to be released, unloving spirits and self-hatred. I’ve lived it, and believe what we think affects our health. Available on Amazon.

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